Online dating can be a fun and exciting way to meet new people. Today, dating apps and best online dating sites open the door to a wide range of potential matches. But just like with anything online, it comes with its risks.
The truth is, not everyone is who they say they are, and sometimes, even if they are real, their intentions might not match yours. That’s why it’s important to know the “red flags” so you can spot trouble early and protect yourself.
In this guide, we’ll give you the biggest red flags on dating online. So, if you're new to the scene or just need a refresher, this list will help you date smarter and safer.
1. They Avoid Video Calls or In-Person Meetings
One of the biggest red flags is when someone always has an excuse to avoid face-to-face interaction, this could be a video chat or a real-life meet-up.
If someone only texts, but never calls, cancels video chats at the last minute, and says they’re too busy to meet for weeks or months, it could be a sign that they’re not who they say they are.
Sometimes it's harmless, as they may be shy, but other times it means they’re hiding something like being married, catfishing, or using fake photos.
To avoid this, suggest a short video call early on. If they avoid it more than once, consider that a major red flag and don’t waste your time.
2. Their Profile Seems Too Perfect
We all want to show our best side online, but if someone’s profile looks too polished, with perfect pictures or reads like a movie script, be cautious.
Be careful with supermodel-level photos with no casual shots, a bio that sounds vague or overly generic, or that seems to be written with AI, and there are no personal details about their job, lifestyle, or interests.
Sometimes scammers or bots create "perfect" profiles to impress victims faster. If everything looks flawless but nothing feels real, take a step back.
3. They Move Too Fast, Emotionally or Romantically
You’ve just started chatting, and they’re already calling you “baby,” talking about love, or saying you’re their soulmate? That’s a red flag.
Real relationships take time to build. Love bombing you with affection too quickly is often a manipulation tactic used by scammers or emotionally unhealthy people.
Watch out for phrases like “I’ve never felt this way about anyone”, “You’re the only one I can talk to,” or “I know we’re meant to be.”
A good way to control this is to slow things down, and if they get upset when you try to take your time, they’re probably not in it for the right reasons.
4. They Ask for Money or Gifts
This is a deal-breaker. Absolutely, no one you’ve just met online should ever ask for money, gift cards, phone bills, or any kind of financial help, no matter how convincing their story is.
Common scams include:
- Claiming they need help with a sick family member
- Saying they’re stuck while traveling
- Pretending they need money to visit you
It doesn’t matter how dramatic they picture the situation; never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. Block and report the account right away.
5. They’re Vague About Their Life
If someone is hesitant to answer basic questions like “What do you do for work?” or “Where do you live?”, that’s a warning sign.
Real people should be able to share normal life details, especially if they are in the process of finding a real connection.
You don’t need their full life story, but if everything feels inconsistent, like they say they’re a lawyer but don’t know basic law terms, it could mean they’re hiding something.
That’s why you must ask open-ended questions and see if their answers make sense over time. If you start spotting contradictions, that’s a problem.
6. They Make You Feel Guilty for Setting Boundaries
If you say you’re not ready to meet, want to take things slow, or aren’t comfortable sharing certain information, and they respond with guilt, anger, or pressure, that’s a major red flag.
Healthy people will respect your boundaries. Manipulative people will try to make you feel bad for not doing what they want.
In this scenario, hold firm. If they’re not respecting your comfort level now, it’s unlikely they’ll do it later.
7. Their Stories Don’t Add Up
Over time, most people will share little pieces of their lives, like where they went to school, what they did over the weekend, or where they work. The real problem is if their stories keep changing or just don’t make sense.
For example:
- They said they were in the army, but their timeline doesn’t add up, or they don’t share a picture with their uniform on.
- One day they’re in New York, the next day they’re in Europe, but nothing was mentioned before.
Take mental notes of what they tell you. If you spot inconsistencies, don’t ignore them.
8. They Have No Online Presence at All
Some people aren’t big on social media, and that’s fine, but if someone says they’re 35, live in a big city, and are super social, but you can’t find a piece of anything online like LinkedIn, Instagram, that’s weird.
While privacy is important, a digital ghost can be a red flag, especially if paired with any of the signs above.
When talking to that person, ask for a last name or social handle if things are progressing. If they act defensively, it may be time to move on.
9. They’re Rude, Controlling, or Disrespectful Early On
Sometimes the biggest red flags aren’t hidden, they’re right in your face.
If someone is disrespectful toward you or others, is negative or complaining, tries to control every aspect of your life, it’s not a good sign. Online or offline, no one deserves to be treated that way.
Don’t make excuses for bad behavior. If it shows up early, it usually gets worse later.
Wrapping Up
Online dating can be a great way to meet new people, but it’s also important to stay alert and trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.
Here’s a quick recap of red flags to watch for:
- Avoiding video calls or meetings
- Too-perfect profiles
- Moving too fast emotionally
- Asking for money
- Vague or inconsistent stories
- Disrespecting your boundaries
- No online presence
- Being rude or controlling
Remember: it’s okay to walk away from a conversation that makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe anyone your time, energy, or trust, especially if they’re showing signs of dishonesty or manipulation.
Stay safe, be smart, and always listen to your gut.