The child custody mediation process is a process that sets out to resolve any child custody issue. The process is straightforward. A mediator takes charge of the mediation and asks parents questions to help them reach and agree on a decision.
However, parents do not know what to ask during this mediation process. It leaves them arriving at a parenting plan they do not want. Thus, a growing need exists for parents to know what they should ask during child custody mediation. This is why speaking to family law attorney Samah T. Abukhodeir of The Florida Probate & Family Law Firm can be beneficial.
First, let us start by learning what child custody mediation is.
What Is Child Custody Mediation?
To put it simply, mediation is an alternative to going through the rigors of court. It is a process where a person, called a mediator, who has no ties with a family, tries to resolve child custody and parenting plan issues of a family in dispute over child custody.
But that is not to say mediation does not follow due process or is not legal. For one, mediators have a wealth of experience in the legal field. That is because mediators are typically lawyers or retired judges. Also, most mediators specialize in child custody cases and how to resolve child custody disputes.
There are two primary end goals of child custody mediation:
1. To settle any dispute regarding the custody of the child
2. Draft a consensus parenting plan suitable for the estranged couple and prioritize the child’s best interest
Now, let's talk about what a parenting plan is
Parenting Plan
A parenting plan is a written agreement that sorts out post-divorce parenting. It is an agreement on the most suitable way to raise a child.
It considers future issues, the child’s best interest, and what suits the two parties. It also helps in the decision-making process that might lead to disputes between parents.
Types of Custody
There are different types of custody. They include sole, physical, legal, and joint custody.
Before entering a child custody mediation, you need knowledge of these types of custody. Below is a brief explanation.
What Is Sole Custody?
It is a custody type that gives custodial legal rights to one of the parents. It also grants only the parent physical custody of the child. Before a mediator can rule for sole custody, they must have determined that the other parent, who is denied custody, is not fit to take care of the child.
The following are reasons why a mediator may deem a parent unworthy of custody.
History of abuse of child
History of neglect of the child
Addiction to drugs
Addiction of alcohol
What Is Joint Custody?
Unlike sole custody, where only one parent has a child's legal and physical custody, joint custody shares the rights between both parents. They have the same level of control and burden of responsibility over the child, which often requires clear communication and mutual understanding, something a joint custody attorney can help parents navigate, especially in complex child custody arrangements.
In joint custody, parents can make legal, medical, and social decisions for the child. Also, the child can live with any of the parents or have a schedule of living with each parent at a given period.
What Is Legal Custody?
Legal custody entails the right to decide essential issues for the kid. These decisions cut across medical affairs, religion, education, and future planning.
What is Physical Custody?
Physical custody deals with where the child will live. Parents can share physical custody, or a mediator rules that only one of the parents gets physical custody.
The parent who gets physical custody takes charge of the child's living conditions and physical well-being and supervises the child.
What Are the Appropriate Questions to Ask?
You always want to ensure that you do not stay silent during child custody mediation. That is the beginning of a misstep. Secondly, you want to ensure you ask the right question.
The questions you ask must seek to clarify gray areas, set things straight, define who has the most significant amount of custody, highlight who carries the most financial burden, and how communication will work during these periods.
Question 1: Where will the child live?
The first important question to ask is with whom the child will stay. It is essential to clearly define where the child will live and how to arrange visitations. Also, you need to define the extent of the frequency of visitation.
Question 2: What type of custody are we planning for?
Also, you need to know if you are getting physical, legal, sole, or joint custody. Ask the mediator to clarify the type of custody you are planning for.
Question 3: How do we sort visitation?
Visitation entails how the child will visit the other parent while staying with the other parent. This process usually involves the parents checking their schedules and finding free time to devote themselves to the child when they visit. They also check in on the child's schedule when the child is free from school activities.
Question 4: How do you share the holidays?
Another critical question is how you share the holiday days for custody. You need to plan who the child will be with during the holidays. In the case of joint custody, the parents agree to share the holiday days, and each parent picks holidays where they have ample time.
For instance, a partner may clinch the Christmas holiday while the other settles for Easter.
Question 5: How Do We Pick the Child Up?
In the case of joint custody, you need to figure out how you will pick up the child from the other parent. Do you make a house call? Do you pick up the child at school? Do you find a neutral location?
Question 6: How Do We Make Decisions?
Sometimes, parents may clash over what they deem best for their child. This clash could occur during the child’s training, in their standpoint on morality, in their healthcare decisions, or in their religious beliefs.
Question 7: What Is Child Support Going to Be Like?
You must agree on how to share child expenses or who pays for what expenses. Expenses that require agreement include medical care expenses, education, vacation, holidays, etc.
Question 8: How Will We Communicate?
You need to ask about the channels for communication. There are different mediums, including phones, emails, letters, and showing up physically for discussions.
You need to sort out when to communicate, too. You must draw up your schedule and see flexible communication methods during busy days.
Reaching an Agreement
Even though you have an agreement in place, disagreement may still occur. However, you should know that a good parenting plan does not eliminate future disputes. A good parenting plan must include how to resolve future cases of disagreement that may occur.