While we chew our finger nails about if the internet (ie: social media, AI) was/is a net-societal-positive, we would be smart to remember that LOTS of consumer products (and often their packaging) failed miserably. For example, there was the 1957 Ford Edsel (in which Ford invested roughly $400 million and lost around $250 million (about $2 billion today.)) Microsoft’s Zune never even dented the iPod market. The Theranos claim to run hundreds of blood tests from a single drop was outright fraud. Then there was New Coke, Sony’s Betamax, Harley-Davidson branded perfume(!).
When consumers see products they hate (in spite of 24 geographically/demographically chosen focus groups who loved it) companies marketing efforts can fail very fast. Like in 2010, Gap swapped its classic blue-square logo for a plain Helvetica wordmark. The backlash was instant and vicious with parody logos flooding social media, and a crowdsourced "make your own Gap logo" site went viral. Gap reverted within six days, in what's often called one of the fastest rebrand reversals ever.
But there are still consumer products/features that you are pretty sure are out there just to piss you off.
You might want to blame WWII for how much you HATE today’s toothpaste tube. See, that’s when metal shortages forced companies to experiment with mixed plastic-and-metal composite tubes. Once plastic was perfected in the 1990’s your ability to roll up the used part of tube ended. So now, once you’ve used about half the paste, you have to flatten the tube out on the counter to get paste out of the top. It you try to roll up now it quickly unrolls in the drawer.
Flat panel TV’s (be they plasma or LED) have been around for about 30 years but the content providers (be they cable systems or streaming apps) still can’t figure a way to design their content and setting options in a logical way. If you can read that “About this show’ white typeface, you are sitting too close or you are too young to be exposed to my “recommended shows based on your recent watches.”
Customer service call centers…No need to even go there, right? (yes, I will hold).
Who among us can resist those grocery store “Buy One, Get One” promotions? But once you understand BOGO is a favorite way for retailers to liquidate aging, excess, or soon-to-outrun it’s Fresh-By date products, without resorting to a straight markdown that would signal the product is somehow undesirable. Consequently, we are all in on junk food BOGO’s, but rarely buy anything healthy (unless it’s those irresistible bagged salads.) As one retail trade magazine reports: BOGO lets retailers "profitably liquidate low-quality inventory under the guise of doing something nice."
Auto interiors. Back in the day, you turned on the car (with a key), adjusted the AC or windows and off you went. Nope, not anymore. You have to grab the printed manual out of the glove box (which was composed by someone whose third or fourth language is English) or try to navigate an “online” version that will take you not less that 18 clicks to find up you were on the wrong page anyway. All this to understand those “intuitive” symbols on the dash that control about 50 other aspects of “diving.” Having a rear window sticker that flashes MANUEL will get you a sympathetic nod instead of the inevitable “GET THE HELL OFF OF YOUR PHONE!!” loud and long honk.
I don’t recall exactly when everything became “organic,” do you? It's not a nutrition claim. In fact, the USDA and FDA don't certify organic food as more nutritious than conventional food, just produced differently. The food we ate as kids were full of crap from Round Up to DDT and we don’t (all) have a third eye in the middle of our foreheads. Organic certainly doesn't mean pesticide-free because certified organic farms can use certain naturally derived pesticides, just not most synthetic ones.
Here's a rundown of other common food labels that sound meaningful but often carry little to no regulatory weight:
"Natural" Probably the biggest offender. In the US, the FDA has no formal definition or standard for "natural" on food packaging (it does have some guidance, but it's not enforced like "organic"). A product can say "all natural" while still containing highly processed ingredients, added sugars, or substances that started as synthetic — there's no verification process behind the claim.
"Non-GMO" This one sounds like a health claim but usually isn't. Many foods carrying "Non-GMO Project Verified" labels — like salt, water, or orange juice — never had a genetically modified version to begin with, so the label is essentially decorative. It also doesn't mean pesticide-free or otherwise "cleaner."
"Free-range" / "Cage-free" (eggs and poultry) These sound like the animal roamed a pasture, but USDA rules for "free-range" often just require "access to the outside" — which can mean a small door leading to a tiny concrete or dirt patch, for a limited time each day. It says nothing about actual space, quality of outdoor access, or how long animals get to use it.
"Farm Fresh" / "Farm Raised" Not regulated at all. Virtually any animal product can be called "farm raised" since animals are, by definition, raised on farms — including large industrial operations.
"Multigrain" Just means more than one type of grain was used — none of which have to be whole grains. A product can be "multigrain" and still be made almost entirely of refined white flour.
"Made with Real Fruit" / "Made with Real Ingredients" have no standard threshold. Some "fruit" snacks qualify with a tiny fraction of a percent of actual fruit content, with the rest being sugar, coloring, and flavoring.
"Lightly Sweetened" or "Reduced Sugar" Not always tied to a specific number the way "low fat" or "low sodium" are (those do have FDA-defined thresholds). "Reduced sugar" only requires being lower than the "regular" version of that specific product — the regular version could be extremely high in sugar to begin with.
"Humanely Raised" / "Ethically Sourced" No single government-enforced standard exists for these phrases; they typically rely on third-party certifiers with wildly varying criteria, or on the manufacturer's own definition.
"Gluten-Free" The term itself is regulated in the US (must be under 20 ppm gluten), but it's often slapped on products that were never going to contain gluten in the first place (like plain rice or bottled water) purely as a marketing hook — implying a health benefit that doesn't exist for people without gluten sensitivity.
"Artisan" or "Handcrafted" Purely a vibe. No legal definition — used on everything from small-batch bakery goods to mass-produced supermarket bread.
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This commentary represents the opinion of the writer, but not necessarily the opinion of Holy City Sinner. If you'd like to submit your own opinion piece for publishing consideration, e-mail christian@holycitysinner.com.