Breaking up with a significant other is never an easy or straightforward process. It is important for you to understand that the way you are feeling right now is perfectly normal. This is just a passing phase on the way to the process’s completion, and it won’t last forever.
After a divorce, it usually takes a woman about a year to adjust to being on her own, but she is able to “cover” for herself when her ex-husband begins dating again or remarries. She has the ability to portray herself as mad or too obsessed if she so chooses. It is quite inappropriate for you to stalk your ex’s new wife through the use of the internet. Because of this, it will be difficult for her as well as for the children (if any).
In spite of the fact that both parties consented to the breakup, it is common for women to stifle their feelings of rage out of concern that doing so might have negative consequences. However, when the former partner decides to move on with their life, it is not uncommon for old wounds to reappear. These scars are a record of the feeling of being abandoned, rejected, or lost. It is the same «grief» people talk about in the context of general psychology, even if you didn’t file for it through the courts, but filled out New York uncontested divorce forms. So, let’s discuss what are the five stages of divorce, as there are five stages of grief also. Similar to the previous point, it is essential to bear in mind that each case is unique, and that individuals are free to go through these stages in whichever sequence they see fit in their own lives.
- EMOTIONAL SHOCK
Naturally, this one is the first of all 5 stages of divorce. A time of high emotions during which anything can take place, including, but not limited to, tears, anger, concern, and, if the split was unexpected, confusion. Even if both parties mutually decided to end the relationship, it is normal to have feelings of depression in the aftermath of the breakup. After all, the two of you worked together on something in the past, but it is no longer possible.
Getting angry is a natural response, particularly if you find out that your partner has been cheating on you. Possible results include retaliation and a desire to model one’s behavior like the offender in question (fortunately, the matter is usually limited to virtual surveillance). Some people have feelings of guilt (especially if they weren’t completely honest with a spouse) or embarrassment because they worry about what other people may think of them in certain situations. Others experience feelings of shame. It is very normal to be apprehensive about the uncertain nature of the future, which implies all Stages of Divorce.
So what do we do now? You should give yourself permission to feel sad and grieve (ideally in the presence of other people who make you feel safe and secure), but you should make every effort to avoid doing something rash or permanent.
Don’t smile all day. Negative sentiments are simply that—feelings—and won’t remain forever. If your previous spouse is keeping you together, it may be preferable to confine your contact to the “logistics” of your children’s schedules. Unfriend or unfollow the person on social media and avoid reading their profile.
Now what? You should allow yourself to feel sad and grieve (preferably with those who make you feel comfortable and secure), but you should avoid doing something impulsive or irreversible.
Don’t smile all day. Negative sentiments are simply that—feelings—and won’t remain forever. If your previous spouse is keeping you together, it may be preferable to confine your contact to the “logistics” of your children’s schedules. Unfriend or unfollow the person on social media and avoid reading their profile.
- ADAPTATION
This might be especially challenging if you and your partner shared a home for a long period before you finally decided to move out on your own. Either you are happy because you have independence and time to yourself, or you are unhappy because you are alone and your future is uncertain.
If you have kids and they spend the weekend or summer break with their other parents, you may feel a profound sense of isolation and connection between divorce and money issues. One thing is dividing «regular» property, but the world has gone further technically and some people face dividing cryptocurrency in divorce, which is also quite a challenge. Many women “break down” at this point, understanding that her ex-husband does not share her experience. The lady downloaded a dating app as soon as she heard about his recent marriage, despite the fact that she is not yet ready for a romantic commitment and other phases of divorce are yet to come.
Find healthy ways to help yourself and practice them regularly. It can be anything: meditation, reading, walking, journaling, exercise, creativity, cooking – as long as it helps. And be sure to plan your free time in advance, especially on weekends and vacations. It is also useful to set a new goal that has nothing to do with the romantic sphere and start moving towards it.
- SELF-DOUBTS
Most acute sentiments will have faded, but questions will be developing, especially for those who were rejected. Was I a good team player? Do I have romantic prospects? Can you see myself without friends? Can I rebuild trust? How can I trust myself if I select friends this way?
We’re hesitant of developing new relationships after “failing” at it before. Unresolved prior traumas appear at this stage.
It’s time to understand more about yourself and what makes you beautiful. Consider how you’ve helped your relationship and partner’s happiness. Also, think about ways to change and break negative behaviors.
If you can accept rejection gently, start dating again.
- ACCEPTANCE
On good days, we like our situation. We experience episodes of sorrow, fury, and self-doubt, but we’re mostly OK. We’re uninterested in our exes’ new relationships. We believe in our ability to build new links, and our lives are full of work, hobbies, social contacts, and spare time.
Despite the obstacles, you should be proud. Knowing yourself and what you want from future relationships might help.
- GROWTH
You have learned a lot about yourself and the relationships you have had in the past; if those relationships were toxic, you now understand why. You no longer obsess about your relationships and instead view them as merely a component of your life, albeit an essential one. Either you are really content being on your own or you are experiencing the excitement of a new romantic relationship and the stages of a relationship after divorce are yet to come.
